A Post About Contemplation and NOT Restoration

 

Well Friends,

Here we are at the end of April.  My 38th birthday is just days away and it has been sometime since I last wrote something.  I thought today I would write a little bit, not about a restoration project (although it is in the hemisphere), but write about what's been going on with me personally.  I have taken 4 months off from my restoration projects, because frankly I've been burned out.  2020 was hard for us all with Covid and lockdowns.  It has been especially tough for me because my job in tourism simply vanished overnight.  

If you weren't aware I professionally work for a luxury tourism company.  Working mostly in Europe for half the year and the other half I'm working on the house.  This balance has worked pretty well for me.  I'm a person that tends to get bored easily.  If I am not restoring something or traveling and exploring something I get bored very easily.  I need challenges, variety, work with my hands and mind.  I need to see, touch and feel physical change and progress.  I am not someone that can easily work behind a desk for 8 hours a day and then go home.  I am perfectly happy working 12 hour days and then a day tinkering on tiny details to make a old home feel alive again.  I am sure many of you feel the same as I do about old things.  To me, old things are works of art and works of a human being that deserve to be appreciated and loved.  To me, bringing things back to life makes me feel alive.

But 2020 changed it for us all.  I spent a good deal of 2020 getting things done around the house but then I hit a wall.  Working every day on the house for nearly a year wore me down. Aside from the house, the lockdowns and the civil unrest in Minnesota (where I live) and the lack of work  hit me really hard.  I began to get itchy, anxious, longing for some change, some variety, something to move me forward.

2021 brought new hopes with changes in Covid, politics and the rest of the world, but still no sight for return to work.  Now as May starts there is hope for returning to work, but I can't help but question what do I want to do for this next phase of my life.  The rapid changes in life and the world have I think made us all feel different and reexamine things.  Who we want to be, what we want to do and where we want to go.

I hired a career coach to give my resume a great revamp and ask me some probing questions.  She helped me really ask myself what do I see my purpose in this life to be?  I came to the conclusion that my purpose is to fix old things, cherish these objects and give them new life, to recycle what is already here and to ensure that during my lifetime they are remembered so that they will be here for the next generation. That's great but what do I do with that information?  How do I do it but also make a living?  

This and the previous images are of Henty Paget, the 5th Marquess of Anglesey.  A true 19th century dandy who lived his life as he please and in excess until it let him and his family estates bankrupt. 

My coach suggested looking into consulting and developing my own brand of style.  What does this mean?  I just want to do what I love, but get paid for it.  Not so easy, at least in my mind.  Maybe I overthink things too much.  I have been working on this blog for 15 years and it has given me so much pleasure (and I hope given pleasure to others too), but financially or work wise it hasn't provided much.  I began to dabble on creating an Instagram page to make videos and posts detailing some of my projects and history of some objects.  You can check it out here if interested: My Instagram The Vintage Dandy

I had a friend help me create a few videos, but took a pause on it because I just needed to take a break from my 1889 Victorian and do some self examination.  You see all these folks on YouTube and Instagram making a living from posting about their travels, their brands, their stuff so I question why can't I, but more importantly how do I?  I'm just a regular person with an extreme passion for the old so how do I make a living from this? 

 A number of years ago I was contacted from a production company that does shows for HGTV.  They were looking for someone who would want to do a show like "Rehab Addict".  Unfortunately for me at the time, they wanted someone to do a whole house restoration in a matter of months.  At the time I wasn't able to do that.  My own home is a place of pride for me and as a one person crew that would be impossible.  So that option passed me by.  I continued working on the house, collecting and restoring antiques, serving my city for the historic commission and doing lots of community service work to improve the quality of life for the neighborhood I live in.  That combined with my international travels served me well for a long time, but this past year it all stopped and I asked myself is this all working?  Well, yes and no I guess.  Yes it is working partly because I get to be an artist creating this great restoration art, but no because I don't get to focus on it as fast as I would like or focus on it enough.  

So after all these thoughts where does it leave me?  Not anywhere else other than consciously aware of what I should be doing but lost as to how I can do it.  The idea of doing my own restoration program would be something I would love.  I can't watch most "Restoration" shows because we all know they aren't really restoration but they are renovation. There are a couple good restoration shows out there, but we NEED more.  But how do I make a living doing something that I love?  The idea of doing what you love and the money will follow is a great concept but the practicalities of it are a different matter. 

  So here I still drinking tea and pondering more about how I continue to propel my love of restoration and antiques into a job that gives me the full satisfaction I am longing for.  On the bright side, I believe I will be returning to some work in June for travel and that will allow some money to come in to keep projects going, but I have to ask myself will it be enough for me?  Maybe I should be asking you dear readers how do you find your satisfaction for your restoration and love of history but also keep the money coming in to keep it going?  I think we all probably struggle with this and it isn't an answer easily solved.  I guess my point of this post is to jot my thoughts and frustrations down and so called "put them out to the universe" in hopes that some clarity, some idea, some path will show me where I should be headed to keep my love of historical architecture and objects alive and flourishing.  

BY THE WAY............Can I just say that while I am taking a 100% break from working on the house I STILL am thinking about what I want to do to it.  The kitchen has been my latest contemplation and while I should be nowhere near thinking about this I can't help but spend my time looking at inspiration images of 1920s kitchens.  I am sick....very sick..... Restoration and antique obsession sick.  Here is my latest photo inspiration that I consider going towards.  Remind you I have not worked in 18 months, have 10,000 other things to do and I am thinking about a kitchen I cannot tackle soon let alone afford.  HELP!!!

Green, Jadeite, white, chrome and classic looks.  

Thanks for listing to my rantings my friends.  If you can offer me ideas or suggestions to keep me moving in the direction that I love I would be very happy to hear your thoughts.